2017

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.”

-Benjamin Franklin

I love quotes, sometimes no matter how much you try your brain refuses to find the right words to express your thoughts.  That’s where quotes come in, when your brain cannot form the words, often times others have already done the work for you.

Benjamin Franklin was right, time is what life is made of, little moments knit together into minutes, hours, days, and weeks.  We complain that times moves to fast, but we rarely stop to cherish it, to appreciate it while it’s happening.  It’s very selfish of us really, like a toddler who doesn’t realize how hungry he is until his mom takes away his dinner when he refuses to eat it.

I’m not going to lie, 2016 was a hard year for us, and for a large part of it I wondered if it would ever go away or if I would have to give it a good sucker punch in order to escape into 2017.  Over the year we dealt with around 30 seizures, three hospital stays, over five different specialists, two layoffs, a move to a different state, and then another move because our apartment was not up to par (it flooded every time it rained, which is pretty often in Colorado summers).  Our family has been under a lot of stress, and for a large part of the year my marriage was very strained.  Out of 366 days in 2016 I probably spent 360 of them waiting for it to be over.

Last week Austen was having one of crying days were she cries, screams, and nurses all day and does not want to do anything but touch me.  I was touched out, stressed, and ready to cry myself.  But then, in the midst of all of that chaos, something happened.  Austen stopped crying, she looked at me, smiled, and gave me a big hug.  It was then, in that tiny little moment, that it was all put into perspective for me, and I realized all I had missed out on in the past year.

All the hugs, the kisses, the cuddles I had failed to appreciate.  All of the I love you moms, and you’re my best friends that I had forgotten.  Yes this year has been stressful, and there is no guarantee that 2017 won’t be either.  In fact, it is almost guaranteed that it will be stressful in some way, it’s own way that we have yet to discover.  Our life is not easy, but whose life is really? We all deal with the struggles and hurdles of day to day life.

But these moments with my kids I will never have back, and no matter how stressful or discouraging 2016 might have been these moments made it worth it.  These moments give me hope, they give me meaning, they give me a purpose.

So here’s to looking back at 2016 and seeing the good, and moving into 2017 determined to appreciate them in the moment.

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